I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
