I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She bit a glass in half.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
