my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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