i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
