so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
