I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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