i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
