Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How drunk are you?
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