Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
