they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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