I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
