You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
