If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
