Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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