I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
