You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
