some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
