Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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