Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
