i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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