I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
