1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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