its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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