Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
