Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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