3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
