Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
