if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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