Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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