I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
