Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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