Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
