dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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