my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
