Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
