Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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