Screwed.edu
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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