I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
