ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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