A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
