So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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