I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
