All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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