His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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