No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
