my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
