your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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