She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
