My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
