upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I intend to get homeless drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
