There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
