New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
